Friday, July 17, 2009

How about a Friday..

Well lets see...i needed to vent and this seems to be just the place to do it....Ive been trying to stay strong,..and be the mother im suppose to be...But when you got 4 children who just seem to think they rule the world how in the world does one women do it!.....thats what i keep asking myself although i know im not the only military wife out in this crazy lonely world that has 4 small children and dealing with the stress of a very long and painful deployment right around the corner! just gonna miss that person to death, and when they say love can be painful they sure didnt lie!...Having to watch the one that has the other half of your heart, the one who does everything for you, the one who you spent everyday with, the one that you have spent everyday with for the last 5yrs pretty much, the one who is the father of your 4 little children,the one that you can always count on no matter what,the one that loves you more then anything eles,the one that makes you feel safe,and the one that even though its not gonna be okay he still makes you think it is.The one who has giving you everything you ever wanted, walk across that airport and onto that plane!, im not so sure about this day coming up...I know i always say im as strong as they are made, but having to tell my little loggy bear and landon and sandra just how long their daddy is gonna be gone for i just dont think im that strong!..Its gonna rip their little hearts out i know for sure cause unlike us we have always had him around for us so i have never had to do this before!...And right lieing isnt right but will it be right this time???I always keep telling myself i can do it, but the question and anwser remain open!....Can i really do it?....i dont want the month of August to ever come around..thats how sad i am, i feel like someone is slowly ripping my heart out!....but im trying to remain strong and give it all to GOD, and just pray that he gets me through and brings My kevin home!...and i mean bring him home safely!...i love him so much!...and so does our children!...if i already miss him this much, how much more an i gonna be able to take how much more pain is it gonna be?????? how much more can you miss a person...i knew i loved him from the very begining but i never thought i could miss him as much as i already miss him and he isnt even gone yet.Me and the kids are gonna be so lost without him!...Cause kevin is all we have, he truly is my other right hand, and my childrens's teacher, daddy and role model, and hero in 1!! please pray for me and our children and for our Hero to come home safely!!>....thats all for now willl blog again soon

Christina Lynn Scheller

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